I don’t know why I have so much anger! I feel stuck right now. One little thing can just set me off and I just lose control and start screaming at people for stupid things.
I’m tired of my parents telling me things. I’m tired of pretending to be okay. I hate that I can’t say anything with out them telling me crap. I hate that they think so little of me. Sometimes I just want to move away. So far away were they won’t know anything about me.
I’m tired of people not having any faith in me, I’m tired of not being good enough for anyone. I hate that no one cares enough to encourage me. No one has yet to say their pleased with me, and happy with what I’m doing. I feel like they know i won’t make it.
Father and daughter.
I hate that I don’t have a relationship with my dad. It’s hard, especially when I don’t know what to say when I’m around him. I feel like I don’t belong to him, has if I’m not his daughter. Has if he doesn’t love me. Sometimes I feel like I’m not even his daughter.
When I was little I trusted him. Like every little girl I wanted to have a husband like my dad.
I haven’t felt his fatherly love in a long time. I feel like I don’t belong here. I feel like he hates me. Like he doesn’t want me. I feel like he wants someone else to be his daughter rather than me.
How do you react to that? How do you move on past that? Do you move on past that? Does it ever get better? Does he even care?
Lately I’ve been wanting to talk to him, I’ve been wanting to let him know how I’ve felt all these years. How I always felt like he never wanted me. Like I was unimportant to him.
But I’m afraid to even speak up to him, I’m afraid to even say a word that’s really in my heart. I must do it. Before its too late.